Your Cats Coffee Order, By Breed
Although we probably don’t have to state the obvious here, we’ll do it anyway: Your cat should not have coffee, so please do not order a fancy drink for your cat, even at a cat café. As PetMD explains, caffeine affects pets similarly to humans, but on a much greater scale because of their smaller bodies, so that little burst of energy for you could be a fatal jolt to your furry friend. Skip it. With that out of the way, let’s combine the two things most of us need in our lives every day, cats and coffee, and consider your cat’s ideal coffee order, based on breed.
American Shorthair
Black coffee
The American Shorthair was originally bred as a mouser. A true working-class cat who’s self-sufficient both in body and in work ethic, he has no need of added sweeteners to take the edge off. He was born ready to go without any fuss and is perfectly capable of standing alone, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t enjoy hanging out with his chosen friends for a coffee break here and there. This one’s a true classic that never goes out of style and can always be counted on to get the job done.
Abyssinian
Double espresso
Espresso is considerably stronger than traditional coffee, and a double espresso packs twice the punch, which is why Aby cats go straight for this concentrated caffeinator. Among the most energetic and sleek of cats, Abyssinians demand plenty of attention and stimulation, much like their favorite drink, and they also share a rich heritage with their cup of choice. While the espresso is the foundation for many of today’s popular Italian coffee drinks, the Abyssinian is also one of the oldest cat breeds on record, dating back to the Ancient Egyptians, who helped immortalize cats as the divine creatures they are.
Chartreux
Cappuccino
The cappuccino is a layered combination of espresso, steamed milk, and a signature foamed milk top that may be adorned artfully by modern coffee shops today but was likely quite plain when invented by a Capuchin monk in the 17th century (at least according to reasonably reliable tradition). The Chartreux was long believed to have been brought to France by monks and, though this has now been well discredited, holds fast to this honorable legacy and appreciates the humble cappuccino for the qualities they still share. Like the monks, the Chartreux is a kind cat with exceptional bonding ability, but often with just one or two close confidants. He’s not interested in entertaining the crowd but is beloved by his most devout followers.
Persian
Iced latte
Also made from a combination of espresso, steamed milk, and foamed milk, the latte’s ingredients are blended, and its parts are not equal, opting for more sweetness from the milk. It’s smoother than a cappuccino and appeals to a wider audience, much like the glamorous Persian who especially enjoys it iced, so she can sip it in style while lounging alone when taking breaks from her gawking fans. The iced latte has become a bit of a social media symbol of chic status and the sweet Persian loves being equally adored, if her legions of followers keep a respectable distance from behind their screens.
Burmese
Americano
If you’ve traveled abroad and searched for a plain cup of “regular coffee” in the morning, you’ve most likely been offered an Americano. If you found it still wasn’t quite the same, that’s because it’s not. An Americano is an espresso with a glut of hot water added to dilute the impact on your palate, so you’re still ingesting the power of the espresso, but in a more approachable way. This is exactly why the energetic Burmese, who wants to be loved as much as she wants to be active, chooses the powerful yet accessible Americano over a straight espresso.
Maine Coon
Mocha
The Maine Coon has an undeniably large presence, both in presentation and in personality, and makes every attempt to be loved by all his friends and family, sometimes even adopting a pack mentality that is rare among cats. It should be no surprise that his coffee of choice is the mouthwatering mocha, made of chocolate, espresso, and whipped cream—a dessert-like drink designed to please the masses. This fun-loving cat opts for a cheerful drink that amps up his goofiness rather than his energy, preferring to hit the arcade rather than the gym.
Siamese
Irish coffee
While we’re on the theme of less coffee-focused coffee drinks, let’s acknowledge the Irish coffee, which combines drip coffee with a splash (or more) of whiskey. Like others who are as chatty as the Siamese, it’s often fair to wonder if she’s been sipping too many Irish coffees, happy as she is to jabber away without rest on occasion. Strong and social, the Siamese loves letting go of her inhibitions with a mug or two of Irish coffee, but don’t be fooled into thinking her brain’s gone to mush—the Siamese is seriously smart and active, which is why she loves the caffeine kick that comes with her favorite drink.
Bengal
Affogato
Few cats are as charismatic as the Bengal, who prides himself on being extra in every way. Endlessly playful and energetic without knock-out good looks, the Bengal’s over-the-top demeanor draws admirers by the dozen, but he can also push plenty away with his “too-much-of-a-good-thing” stamina. Preferring a coffee drink with decadence to match, the Bengal springs for the affogato, which is hardly a drink at all. Its’ hot espresso poured over ice cream, and the Bengal loves the slowly melting swirls of cream that are every bit as gorgeous and indulgent as he is.
Ragdoll
Flat White
The flat white is yet another espresso and milk combination, though this time the milk is micro-foamed, and the ratio is skewed to offer 4 times as much milk as espresso. It’s primarily this ratio that keeps it particularly distinct from a latte or cappuccino, bringing a delicious dose of sweetness that the Ragdoll relates to. This easy sip is just as enjoyable and accessible as the charming Ragdoll, herself, who isn’t in need of too much energy because she’d rather hang around and be loved than cross things off her to-do list.
Sphynx
Cold Brew
Untraditional, hearty, and not for everyone but becoming increasingly popular. Not sure if we’re talking about the Sphynx or cold brew coffee? We’re describing both. The hairless Sphynx knows he’s made a bit different from the rest of the cats, and that’s what draws him to cold brew coffee, steeped with time rather than heat, resulting in a stronger stock that fans can’t ignore. Both have been shunned by the masses through time but are seeing their popularity soar in recent years as people seek out true individuals with inner strength.